Standing trial for your sins Holding on to yourself the best you can
by Lizsername
Summary: Seth Rollins left Dean Ambrose. He couldn't handle his reaction the night after he betreyed The Shield. Dean cannot handle it anymore. It slowly is breaking him apart. One night, someone leaves him a note... (Slash, one shot.)


"_You are second-hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins, holding on to yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins…" (The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot; Brand New)_

_Dean Ambrose_

"Come on, Rollins!" I took off the vest on him. How the hell is he still wearing Shield gear? He's gone! He stabbed me in the back and Roman! I hit in with it. He began to cover his face. "How does that feel, Rollins?"

I heard the cheers for me every time I punched him. He would groan, knowing how hard I was hitting him. _I fucking hate you! _I pushed him in the corner and gave him a chop. I heard the crowd woo, doing the Ric Flair shit. I was sick of him though. I wanted him gone for everything he's done because he never told me this was happening. There is the part of me that wants to kiss him in the back rooms like we used to. He never came back to the hotel room and told me goodbye… Or gave me one last kiss. I understand it could be a storyline. Seth's stuff was gone though. I don't know how he got it together. I should have notice the signs when he stopped riding with us. That's where I hate him more.

I planted him with Dirty Deeds and went for the cover. I hooked both legs. One! Two! Three! The bell rings. I got up and heard the cheers. I got out of the ring and went to high five people. I then went into the back.

I saw Roman there. He high fives me and puts me in a mini hug. I chuckled, taking a sip of my water. "You look good out there." I smiled to his comment. "Still not really talking, Ambrose…"

"Sorry," I said. I shrugged. "It still hurts, you know?"

He nods. "You're right." I sat down on the bench in the locker room. No one was in right now. "I should go in for a shower, Roman."

I felt him place a hand on my shoulder, sitting next to me. I looked up once he came near. I knew he cared. We grew to be brothers in the long run of This Shield stuff. I liked it. He treated me like family, and it's something I need with no one by my side.

"Dean, we're talking about it for once." My thinking was done.

I shook my head. "No, we're not," I look up, "not at all, Reigns." He kept staring at me. "I understand you care, but I miss him. What more is there to know?"

Roman knows, and of course, I know. Rollins and I were together before The Shield was form. In August of 2011, I and Rollins got closer. We moved in together in an apartment in Florida, just as friends. We had some kind of chemistry in the ring that brought us closer. I want to say in December, I and Rollins went out. I still remember the first kiss. We were kind of drunk, but we woke up, still feeling the same way. I loved him ever since then… So basically, what I am saying, we've been together for a while. All the sudden, he's gone. He never looked back.

"I know you do." Reigns speaks up. I look over. "I'm just worried for you, Ambrose."

I shook my head. "Don't be, honestly. I'll be fine." I look down. "I hope." I said aloud by mistake.

Reigns got up. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, you will, Ambrose." I look up at Reigns. "I know you will, Dean. I'm going to get ready."

"Good luck," I high fived him. I sat there for a couple seconds, soaking in my thoughts. _Face it, Dean. He is gone. You'll forget about him soon. _Hopefully…

I looked through my bag, picking out my comfortable clothing. I noticed a piece of paper in there. I played it in between my fingers. I finally flipped it open, letting my confusion go away. I read it to myself, making sure no one was near me.

_Dean,_

_Please come to this street. I need to talk to you. Don't worry, I won't harm you. I could never. _

It threw me off. I couldn't tell the handwriting. I shook my head. I guess I would go. What do I have better to do? I got my stuff together and took a quick shower. While the hot water was taking off the sweat from my body, I kept thinking about who it could be. I wanted to believe it was someone who could hear me rant about Seth. Maybe someone who would care to understand… Cause he didn't. How it was worded though… I read in his voice.

I just wanted to hear it one more… _I love you, Dean Ambrose. _

!

I met at the location. It was a street corner. I had my hands in my jean pockets, trying not to meet eyes with anyone. I couldn't force myself to get exposed. When I walked to the corner, I saw Rollins standing there. I shook my head. Was I dreaming?

I double checked around everywhere to make sure no one else was here. "None of my 'buddies' are here, Ambrose." I look up to Rollins, knowing it was his voice. It was the same voice that was haunting me at night, the voice in my nightmares lately. I also I noticed how he did air quotations around the word buddies. He was signaling that Orton and HHH were just part of a storyline.

"What the hell do you want?" I wanted to push him to this pavement. I wanted to kick his face in. I look deeper into it. I couldn't stop loving him, no matter how many punches I delivered to that face lately. It kept my awake at night. How I could be hurting him, but does he cares to notice? I just wanted to kiss him, but I held myself back. I can't love him; I have to forget. _You did it for mom and dad, Ambrose. _

His hand went up, pointing somewhere. "Don't act so fucking innocent. I fucking hate you." I shrieked out. Someone was going to hear me. "I felt love for once around you. I envy anyone who's already falling in love with you. That's because I never felt love with anyone else like you. I should get over my first love anyone. Maybe this whole thing with Hunter is a storyline for WWE. You god damn left me.

"I wanted you. I miss our long nights in Florida. Our nights of bullshiting about our jobs as wrestlers and dreaming of being WWE Champions, how one day I would hug you and kiss you being proud you made it… How I was one of the few people backstage who gave you a hug and told you I was proud of you when you became the first NXT champ. What happened to that Seth, the one who wanted me to not only be happy for him but for me for once? Cause yes I was all alone, until I met you… I finally felt myself growing happiness."

I felt the warm tears. I stomped my foot to the ground, about to cry. I did the weird hand thing to my shoulder. I wanted to run away and never look back. He could never love me. _Why am I standing here?_ "You never loved me," I told him out loud. I look up to see him still having his finger pointed towards somewhere. "No one has ever loved a guy like me, not my mother, not my father. How could they?"

Seth finally spoke up. "Dammit, Ambrose, look up for one second." He could tell I was near tears. I could tell he wanted me, but that was me imaging something that wasn't there. I couldn't stand to look at that face without wanting to kick it. "Please," he begged. I finally caved in. I had to do it, right, or I could leave… Find Roman and just rant and just talk and just fall apart again.

I bit my lip and look up. The sign was glowing in my face. Upon there were these words.

_The person standing beside you, pointing at this billboard has brought you here because it was too hard to say "I am sorry" out loud._

I shook my head and read it twice. Maybe another time… and another time… and another time. I look back at Rollins. He leaned in and kissed me. My eyes were open wide, taking this all in. I guess… Seth still cares. I closed my eyes, pushing my lips against his. He lets go eventually. I open my eyes and looked up.

He bit his lips. "It's just a storyline." He whispers out. I felt his hands rub my neck, wanting to kiss me again. I took the chance and just let him kiss me more. I needed the feeling to come back for once. I missed it for about a week.

"I just didn't want your reaction. I just wanted to run and forget about it, maybe one day come back…" He takes a breath as he sees my eyes. He takes his fingers and slowly wipes the remanding tears. "Yeah, Ambrose, I still love you. Come here," he puts his arms around me.

I place my head right on his shoulder. I felt him rung his fingers through my hair. "No matter what happens, what they want our characters to do, I still love you, Ambrose." I sniffed, trying to get that he still cares about me. I didn't want to cry now, but I still felt the need to. Seth shushed me. "See, you got yourself worked up over nothing. Don't do this, Ambrose. You've always been stronger than this."

I look up, smiling. "I guess so," I murmured out. I gave him a small peck. I look up to see him smile.

"Sometimes you act like a lunatic fringe." I place my head on his chest, laughing. He kisses my forehead. "I'll still love you. Though you may not believe it because of your past, I do. I will tell you every day and kiss you every day to prove it."

I took both of his hands as I look up. He grips onto them. "You do?" I whispered out to reassure myself. That's the only thing I needed. That he does love me, that everything is a storyline… Just to click with me that everything I was thinking was a lie.

He smiles. "Although the heel Seth Rollins calls you a business partner," I shook my head, laughing. "This Seth Rollins calls you a lover." I smile. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

I placed my hand in his. I felt comfortable for once. I gave him one last kiss before we tried to find a place that was open.

**A/N: Hey guys! I've had trouble sleeping lately, so this is a little idea. I think it's summer break when mine is in August, ugh. This is based off The Last Billboard. I saw it on tumblr, and it's basically a billboard in Philly that allows poems to be posted. So this was one of them, and it inspired this. This is my first time writing Ambrose/Rollins. I've always had ideas to do it, but here we go. I hope you guys enjoy! Also the title is Brand New lyrics cause I am addicted to them lately. **


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